Finished with Classes

We had our second half of the Bridge Builder classes today and this is what we covered:

Class 5 - Creating Positive Attachments #2

Class 6 - Parenting the Abused and Neglected Child

Class 7 - Parenting the Substance Exposed Child

The classes were very informative. I think the biggest thing that I left there understanding a bit better is that I have grown up thinking that I can, and will, raise my (our) children with the knowledge that my parents have given me as parents. I would use my experiences as a child/youth/adult as a way to guide my child(ren) through their life experiences. What I now understand better is that the child(ren) that we raise as our own, not only that have been adopted, but especially the children that have been through the foster care system due to neglect and abuse will have to be raised with a completely different structure. We as parents will have to be aware of different issues and feelings that a biological child would not experience. There will be more "reason" behind their behaviors than we may understand at first and it will be our job as adoptive parents to look deeper into the meaning behind these behaviors.

In these classes we were taught different ways to go about understanding the behaviors and feelings of our future child(ren) and were given an amazing amount of resources to help us along the way. These children will need an extra special touch of love and patience in their lives and it will be our job to give that to them. Unconditionally!

Kristi's Interview

My individual Interview went really well. It did actually end up being about 2 1/2 hours as well.. but that was more my fault than anything. Once she was done interviewing me she asked if I had any questions... and that's when I unloaded on her, lol. She was wonderful and answered every question I had, and was very thorough.

I am excited with the progress that we are making. She told me we have a few more things we need to turn in and once we get those in, she will send us the referral for licensing. The licensing process takes on average, about 6 weeks. This part includes the licensing department coming and out inspecting our home for all the safety issues. Once that is complete and she gets clearance, she will come out and visit our home and observe the "feeling" of the home. Then she will write up and turn in the homestudy for approval. Once all of that is complete, we will wait for a match/placement.

Bridge Builder Class (1)

We had our first Bridge Builder class on Saturday June 21st. It went well and we learned a lot of great information. These are the topics we covered,

Becoming an Adoptive Parent of Children with Extra Needs
Lifelong Issues in Adoption
Special Needs Child Development
Creating Positive Attachments # 1

We also learned about all of the amazing resources that we have available to us through the county as far as kids camps and therapists and family counseling etc. It is all provided for us since we are adopting through the County.

Here is a link (for those of you adopting) to some really great books. http://www.tapestrybooks.com/Default.asp?c=222622

Here is a book that is recommended for EVERY Parent. (Parenting with Love and Logic)
http://www.tapestrybooks.com/product.asp?pID=149&cID=259

Danny's Interview

Danny's interview with the Social Worker went well. His interview lasted 2 1/2 hours. I guess he had a lot to talk about, lol. He said they just discussed everything there is to know about him from the time he was born until now. His home life as a child and now, his love life, his job etc...

We are going in today to get our TB tests and have our Bridge Builder Class tomorrow. I'll update you soon.

Another piece...

We got another new piece of furniture for the room. A VERY nice person saw our new furniture listed on the blog (previous post) and has an armoire that she is selling us for a very reasonable price. I am so excited. It matches the furniture so well.. I can't wait to pick it up. Here is a picture of it. (It's New) Thank you Natalia!

Schedule...

June 19 - Danny's Individual Interview with Social Worker
June 21 - Bridge Builder Class
June 23 - Physicals for Medical Clearance
June 24 - Kristi's Individual Interview with Social Worker
June 28 - Last Bridge Builder Class

Reference Letters have been sent/received
Pending return to Social Worker
(THANK YOU so much to those of you who are filling those out!)

Employment Verification has been requested.

We are moving along!

Classes Scheduled

We have officially been registered to take the Bridge Builder Classes. The next (7) week night course doesn't begin again until mid August and end in September, so we decided to take the two Saturday classes (which are from 9am - 5pm). We will be done June 28th. Yay!

We still have our individual interviews scheduled as well as our physicals for clearance. We are moving along!

I am sorry...

First of all, I would like to say that this blog was created as a way to share the positive experiences that we are going through with our adoption process. It is open for any one and everyone to read and comment. One of my fellow bloggers/cafemom friends accidentally came across a blog that was hurtful and disrespectful to those who have chosen adoption. It was my decision to share her opinion and feelings regarding this blog and I have received a few responses back for posting it. I want to touch base regarding these comments. I apologize here, for everyone to see, if I made someone feel as if I was "Making light of the most painful and traumatic thing in someone Else’s life". by wearing this T-Shirt. The comments I have received, I think are just as judgemental. I have been told to "do my research" and read blogs of birth mothers... Who is to say that I haven't. I have the utmost respect for those women who carry a baby for 9 months and still make the decision to do what is best for their baby; the women who chose the right family to raise their child because for whatever their reason is, they cannot. I was told, "I am sorry you are infertile". I am NOT infertile. Adoption is OUR CHOICE. We want to give a child a loving home because for whatever the reason is, weather they are coming right from the birth mother, or from child services... the place they are at now is not the best place for them.. It is not our decision to put this child in the place that is it in, It is our decision to adopt this child and give it the best, most loving, and safe home possible. It is our decision to love this child as if it were our own.

Please feel free to read our blog, and follow our story.. and understand that in no way am I trying to offend any one by wearing this T-Shirt.. however, I am VERY proud that we are adopting and I have nothing to be ashamed of. I feel that if I had to walk on egg shells every day, and not show my excitement, because it might offend someone who is having a bad day.. then I might as well stay in my room every day, because there is always someone having a worse day than the next person.

I truly hope that those women out there that are hurting so much find a way to heal.
Here is another shirt that I like...

Our Next Appointments

We got the call from the Social Worker, YAY! Danny's individual interview is June 19th and my individual interview is June 24th. (I would call them individual interrogations, lol). I will let you know how they go.

Perfect Words...

Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone, but still miraculously my own. Never forget for a single minute, you didn`t grow under my heart, but in it.

He who set the stars in space came by this way today.He left a tiny bundle within our hearts to stay.He brought to us a miracle and from the very start.He gave us love unspeakable, boundless love within our hearts.What began as only two of us for all the world to see.By the miracle of adoption, we became a family.

Our Daughter/Son...Before you were conceived, we wanted you.Before you were born, we loved you.Before you were here an hour, we would die for you.This is the miracle of life.
Deliver Me Our delivery room was in chambers. A judge signed his name and our name was yours, Not as messy as a hospital room, But no nine-months warning: suddenly you Were among us and one of us and we Were with and for you. And we love you For the same reason any parent loves a child-- Because God gave you to us, us to you. ~Norman Styers

I didn`t give you the gift of life, But in my heart I know. The love I feel is deep and real, As if it had been so. For us to have each other Is like a dream come true! No, I didn`t give you The gift of life, Life gave me the gift of you.

We waited for you against all hope. We came for you with the greatest of hopes.

Adoption is when a child grew in its mommy`s heart instead of her tummy.

I am in a group (online) with other foster to adopt parents.... and one of the wonderful ladies in the group, posted this and I wanted to share it.

"I saw a shirt that says "Adoption is the new pregnant" and I thought it was cute. I went online to see if I could find it, and when I googled it, I found all these websites saying how insulting it was to procreating women everywhere, how it demeaned people who could have babies and one person actually said (are you ready for this one?):"They can take our babies, but they can't take the experience of conception, gestation and childbirth, so they decide to re-define something so elemental and natural that it shouldn't be messed with, at all, to fit the fantasy world of "as if born to."The smugly smiling model wearing this abomination of a message tee shirt can grin all she likes. I still don't see a baby bump. I don't see that glow and the hand on the protruding belly as the baby moves inside. I don't see Dad and older sibs with their ears and hands on Mom's pregnant belly, joining in the natural family experience. I don't see a damn thing about any of it that is real. I sang and talked to my babies while I carried them inside me. Do the pre-adopters sing a tee shirt lullabye?" (http://motherhooddeleted.blogspot.com/2008/04/from-ridiculous-to-sublime.html for those who want to comment...)

Now, at this point, I was livid. For someone who will NEVER KNOW the joy of feeling a baby growing inside me, that was just downright insensitive and mean. I skipped over to another website and found other comments about adoption in general, like the following:"Most adopters are NEEDY ADULTS who have not learned to inner parent.""I don’t think there is any ethical way to adopt a newborn. Certainly there is no ethical way to adopt a baby targeted before birth."And on and on and on. One woman actually quoted Job 24:9, about snatching a fatherless child from a woman's breast, and used it as an argument saying that God is against adoption. That page had arguments on both sides, but from my perspective, it was overwhelmingly in favor of the non-adopters. That site is http://aislin13.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/adoption-is-the-new-pregnant/, by the way.

Now, I know that these are people with strong opinions, and I know a lot of people on this board have strong opinions, and what makes this a great society is the right of everyone to have an opinion whether it's sensible to us as individuals or not."

So any way, I wanted to share that. Honestly, I am not sure why I wanted to share it.. But I just thought it was quite interesting. Here is my opinion:

Adoption is MY way of being pregnant and I LOVE the T-shirt. I think its adorable and I am enjoying it to the fullest!

Shopping Already...

We are still waiting for the SW to call us to schedule the first individual interview. I am actually tired of waiting and will probably call her Monday morning to see if we can set a date...

In the mean time, I have been keeping my eye out for a good deal on kids furniture on Craigs list and I came across these two matching beds that are the 3 in 1 beds that go from a crib to a toddler bed to a childs day bed. Since we are open to a sibling set under the age of 5, we could possibly get an infant and a toddler or a 2 and 4 year old etc... either way the beds will work.. We got an amazing deal on them.

Just Added.... (giggles)