Nothing to tell...

Just wanted to let you know, we haven't forgotten about you. There are no updates at this time. Were having our first fundraiser, the garage sale on November 17th, and the save your pennies fundraiser will end in January...I will post a blog to give you an update on the results of our fundraisers as soon as I can. Thank you again for you support, and remember everything you do helps us get one step closer to our baby boy!

Picnic Results

Well, Not so much luck with the picnic. Yes we were disappointed. We drove all the way to San Diego and drove all around the park which is all the way around Mission Bay, and never found the picnic/carnival. We saw plenty of signs for B-day Parties and Company Picnics etc....but nothing for Adoption Options. We tried calling the Agency to see exactly where they were supposed to be set up and, of course they were closed for the picnic...Oh well.

Adoption Picnic

This Saturday we will be traveling to San Diego to attend a picnic that is put on once a year by the Agency that we will be working with. This Picnic is called Adoption Options Reunion Picnic. The purpose of this picnic is for families who have already completed the process and have their children to come and share their stories with families who are either in the process of adoption, just starting the process or simply considering to adopt. Adoption Options works with Russia, Kazakhstan and Kyrgyzstan, so we will get to meet many children of different ages from these countries. We are very excited for this experience.

Questions and Answers

A lot of people have asked questions about Russia or the adoption process. I figured I would answers some of those questions in this blog. First, let me say that the process to adoption is a very involved and lengthy process, especially international adoption. Adoption itself has changed drastically over the years and continues to change.

Why did you choose to adopt internationally instead of domestically?
We did look into domestic, but it just didn't feel right in our hearts. There is a great deal of risk with domestic adoption. With foster to adopt, California will give the birth parents every chance possible to get their kids back, even if it is not in the best interest of the child. Even if the parent(s) were in jail for 5 years, the child will sit in foster care till they get out. A child could be in our home for 2-3 years before we might have the possibility of adopting them. That is heartache and a chance we didn't want to take. The only other option for domestic adoption is to go through a birth mother. You go through an adoption agency or adoption lawyer who finds a birth mother for you. You have to "sell yourself" to her along with many other families. You might do this by video, scrapbook, letter or meeting her. The expectant wait for a Caucasian child is 1-2 years. We didn't like the idea of selling ourselves to her, then hope that she picks up out of the other 50 or so couples. In addition, the United States has moved towards open adoptions. This could mean just letters and pictures quarterly/annually or it could mean visits with her. We don't necessarily like the idea of this. The birth mother usually gets to decide how "open" the adoption is and what she wants. If we don't agree to this, she will go find another couple that will. It is also a pretty expensive process, around $25,000+/-. Included in that is birth mother expenses. California requires you to offer up to $5,000 for use of birth mother expenses (food, rent, utilities, clothes). In addition to that, the birth mother cannot sign the release form till 30 Days after giving birth. That is 30 that she has to change her mind. If she changes her mind, we lose all the money we gave to her for expenses in addition to most of the agency/lawyer fees. She is not obligated to pay anything back to us, California considers it "gratuities." We would also have bonded with this baby over that time and can not imagine having to give the baby back. We decided it was too much of a risk to take.

Why did you choose to adopt from Russia?
Although it is not the most important thing to us, we wanted a Caucasian child, which rules out most other countries. Countries like Australia, Ireland, Switzerland do not have many children available for adoption nor do they allow out of country adoptions. Russia is the most popular country to adopt from and they have thousands of children in the hundreds of orphanages in their country. Russia also has a very rich history that we look forward to sharing with the child. We also wanted a closed adoption and Russia does not believe in open adoptions like the US does. The rights of the parents of these children have already been removed. We will not know who their birth parents are and as a result, never have to worry about a birth parent popping up one day. This can be both a positive and a negative thing because the child will never be able to seek out their birth parents.

How much will the process cost?
We don't have any idea because there are many different factors involved. We probably won't know the total till after its all done. It will likely cost between $30,000-$35,000. Most of the cost comes from Legal, International and Travel Fees.

How does the process work?
As I said before, it is a very lengthy and involved process. Everyone in the world has to approve it. You start by having a homestudy done. This involves interviews, gathering of documents, looking around the home, background checks. We have to find an adoption agency that works in Russia and is well respected and send them an application. We have found an Agency in San Diego that we are looking forward to working with. We will have to file form I-600A which is an application for advance processing of orphan petition with the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. They will require us to be fingerprinted. Once they receive our completed homestudy (which can take a couple of months to complete) they will either approve us to go to Russia or deny us. The adoption agency is sending us a contract to sign with them and a dossier package. A dossier is a gathering of documents such as marriage/birth certificates, medical reports, house deed, pictures, police reports, homestudy and much more. All these documents have to be notarized, certified and appostilized. This will be very fun trying to get all that done! It is also time consuming. Once our dossier is completed, it is translated to Russian and sent to them. The Russian data bank has to approve it. Once they do, they will match us with a child that is available. Then our adoption agency will let us know they have a referral and give us the available medical history and a photo (if available of that child). Then we either decide to travel to see that child or turn down the referral. If we decide to travel, they will give us travel dates which will be several weeks away. Russia requires two trips. The first is to travel to meet the child and "accept" the referral. Then we would come back home for 1-2 months while more paperwork is processed. Then the second trip is to go to court and bring the child home. The judge is the final person to approve the adoption and the most crucial.

Are the children healthy?
There are diseases and infections that are mostly known to Russia. Because of this, we have to find a doctor that specializes in international children and one that knows Russia's terminology. When we are sent the referral and given the medical history, we will give it to the doctor to review and let us know of anything that might be bad. Also, after we visit the child on the 1st trip, we should video them and have the doctor review this as well when we return. Children in orphanages are sometimes raised different than children who are not and we might have a few obstacles to tackle because of it.

What age and sex will the child be?
There are many children living in orphanages in Russia. It is a country that has great poverty and most people give up their children because they cannot afford them. The average monthly salary of a Russian is $20 a month. Children have to sit in the Russian data bank (a database for children in orphanages) for at least 6 months before they are considered an orphan and are available for adoption. They sit in this "bank" for that period to allow Russians the opportunity to adopt them. Most times it does not happen though. Russians are not very open to adoption. The men cannot accept raising another man's child. If a couple does decide to adopt, they go through great lengths to hide their adoption. They will usually fake a pregnancy and never tell the child they were adopted. The child will be at least 6 months or older by the time we travel for the first trip. We will be requesting a boy, which will work in our favor. For whatever reason girls are requested more frequently so there are a higher volume of boys available. This should make our wait time shorter (hopefully).

What is the timeline?
There is no concrete timeline because many different factors are involved (how long it takes the homestudy, INS and the Russian data bank to approve, how quickly paperwork is done and sent over). I can do everything on my end as quickly as possible, but the rest is out of my hands. I have heard of some people starting the process and getting a referral within 6 months...and I have also heard of it taking 15 months. It will be longer for us, as we are not going to start the homestudy process until we can raise a good portion of the cost. We would hate to start the process and have to stop do to financial set backs.

Our First Post

After reading many different blogs about others' adoption experiences, I was inspired to start a blog of our own. It is a good way to keep everyone updated on what is going on with us. Though I can't guarantee how often I will post on here, but I will try. This blog will be from the both of us, though I doubt Danny will ever post on here. He doesn't even know I have created this. (yet). Guess I better tell him tonight. Some of you have asked why do we want children so bad. We have both always imagined being parents. We want to be able to give the same love and support that both of our parents have always given us. We can only hope to be as good of parents as what is in our hearts to be. We have been told after testing that we can become pregnant with "help" but have chosen not to take that route. We have decided to adopt. I have always wanted to adopt and it is something Danny is very open to so we will spend some time exploring the world of adoption and decide which avenue is best for our family.