Not much has happened since the last post.. but I gave a little update and explanation of where were are at right now to my cousin, and thought maybe I should share the same info with you...
When we finish the last stage (the licensing part) which will be about 6-7 weeks from now, hopefully... we will officially go on the waiting list. When our social workers has a child(ren) that she thinks would be a good match for our family she will call us and tell us minor details about the child(ren) if we are interested we go in for a match meeting. That is where they give us all the details about the child(ren). If we agree, then our file is presented to the child(rens) social worker and she will choose between us and whoever else was presented. If we are chosen, we get them placed with us. At that point they will be our foster children (with intentions of adoption) until the birth parents rights have been officially terminated. (The social worker believes that the parents will not get them back which is why they are looking for an adoptive placement, but there is the chance that they will). Once the rights have been terminated, we will begin the adoption process.
July 14, 2008
Not Much Yet...
Posted by Waiting Parents at 6:41 PM
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
Well for one thing I think getting rid of that APPALLING Tshirt would be a great start to your adoption journey!
Adoption IS NOT The New Pregnant
And Yes I speak from authority, I was pregnant TWICE And I am an adoptee
Forget about all your classes (although I give you kudos for that) Try talking to REAL LIVE Adoptees, and if you are inter country adopting talk to REAL LIVE Interracial Adoptees...
Take a read of this site http://juliasworld.wordpress.com/
At that beautiful girl just 25 years old and Dead. Adopted from Asia and taken to another country to live where no access to records were allowed...She died of Leukemia one week after her 25th bday.
If she had not of been adopted think of the possibilities that a match for bone marrow could have been found and she could have lived..
There are MANY downsides to adoption as well as the positives that you as adoptive parents will only see. YOU MUST Enlighten yourselves about the DARK Side of adoption and truly understand what it is like to be an adoptee.
There are SOME Adoptive parents out there like that...and they make wonderful adoptive parents.
Waltzing around with "Adoption is the new Pregnant" Plastered across your bosoms is JUST NOT being a good prospective Adoptive parent and there is NO Such thing as "paper pregnant"
There is only one way you can be pregnant and that is pysically.
And whilst I am sorry for you that you can not enjoy the natural process of being pregnant and giving birth PLEASE do NOT Insult Adoptees and Mothers with this shit.
Maybe then you will get some respect and you wont get nasty comments on your blog that I feel sure are going to ensue.......
Ive just read your Q&A Post and frankly I am just appalled.
Those reasons ARE NOT reasons to adopt from Russia. Because of your fear of losing your adopted baby, because of your fear that the birth mother will change her mind, because you want a closed adoption, because YOU YOU YOU YOU.............
Its ALL about YOU
You should adopt from there because the baby/child will more than likely be an orphan and will have NO family............But still you are removing a child from his heritage and taking him away from his heritage. Of course being in an orphange is not much of a heritage and I PERSONALLY Believe in adoption for orphans TRUE Orphans and children of abuse BUT There ARE Many Orphans in the USA where you are.
Do you know the horrors of some Russian Adoptions ?
Email me via my blog and I'll enlighten you. Thats horror for Adopting parents AND the adopted child ...
If you want to be enlightened that is
This is my first visit to your blog and i find it offensive. Firstly as an adoptee the first thing i noticed was your tshirt. Please take it off and burn it. How can you say "Adoption is the new pregnant" That just screams "insensitive" !!!! Please take off your rose colour glasses and explore the world of adoption alittle further. Talk & LISTEN to adoptees, people that live this everyday. I had a wonderful adoptive family, but that still didnt stop the ache in my heart and the emptiness from wanting my birth family. No "forever family" was ever going to fill the gap or stop the ache of me wanting my mother! You need to stop looking at this as "what we want". Reading your blog it is like you are acquiring a new piece of furniture. Im dont mean to be nasty or rude to you, but please open your eyes!! And burn the tshirts!!!
You wrote in another post and I quote " I have the utmost respect for those women who carry a baby for 9 months and still make the decision to do what is best for their baby; the women who chose the right family to raise their child because for whatever their reason is, they cannot. I was told, "I am sorry you are infertile". I am NOT infertile. Adoption is OUR CHOICE. We want to give a child a loving home because for whatever the reason is, weather they are coming right from the birth mother, or from child services... the place they are at now is not the best place for them.. It is not our decision to put this child in the place that is it in, It is our decision to adopt this child and give it the best, most loving, and safe home possible. It is our decision to love this child as if it were our own.
Please feel free to read our blog, and follow our story.. and understand that in no way am I trying to offend any one by wearing this T-Shirt.. however, I am VERY proud that we are adopting and I have nothing to be ashamed of." Unquote
Errr ? I thought you were going to adopt from RUSSIA ? so that it would be an orphan, so that there would be a definite CLOSED Adoption, no chance of interference from the birth mother, mo loss of money etc
In regards to "it is our decision to love it as if it was our own"
Um thats already a negative..AS IF IT WAS OUR OWN..........
Adoption MAKES it your OWN
Fine be proud you are adopting, thats your choice but wearing a tshirt saying "adoption is the new pregnant" is NOT being proud of anything..its just rubbing salt into wounds. Sort of like Black is the new White, or Fat is the new thin...see ? its insulting , rude and hurtful and just because You are not adopted or a first mother doesn't make it NOT
I noticed the posting times for the last three posts... obviously they are on crack! And obviously you have a huge heart and are longing for a family and are exploring all of your options. Where the t-shirt or don't where the t-shirt... These people have issues that go WAY beyond commenting on what you are wearing. Maybe you should post a new pic wearing a shirt that says, "Choose love... not hate". :)
People are just bitter at the world so PLEASE don’t let it effect you! You are doing an amazing thing and no one should tell you differently. I am so grateful for my parents! Without them I would not have the life I have today or the family I have today. My birth mother is 30 something and is in prison right now - It breaks my heart everyday to think my half brother doesn’t have any real parents involved in his life!
You guys are going to be AMAZING parents!!!!! And they are going to have amazing grandparents - what more could anyone want for a child!
I will say that I can see where their aggression comes from. The last couple of years I have dealt with really bad abandonment issues (I think though just part of growing up) Routing back to the adoption and feeling that sense of unwantedness does get to a person. But with my parents help and hashing out just normal human insecurities I DO KNOW that it 1. Everything happens for a reason and that things turn out how they are meant to be 2. It wasn’t that I was UNWANTED it was that I was WANTED - that even my birthmother wanted for me a life better than she could provide. SO these people that attack you - they need to hash out their own insecurities and stop bringing everyone else down with them!!!
You know your amazing and everyone positive in your life knows that you are amazing!
I am shocked and appalled as well...but not at you Kristi and Danny, at the completely rude and heinous comments that these people have left for you.
And excuse me Jane, before you go nit-picking through the postings on this blog why don't you take your own advice and do your research and read through their whole story first to see why they went from international adoption to adopting in the U.S. AND what they are all about instead of going on some ridiculous tangent. Get to know who these people are before you judge them. And how the heck do you know that they haven't done the research you are referring to? I mean really...do you have any clue? Did you even ask them? No, you are basing your assumptions on a cpl of postings and your own personal turmoil and did not even take the time or courtesy to do your due diligence and ask what they've done or been through. Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.
And the whole issue with the tee-shirt. Really..can a tee-shirt put you in that much of a tizzy. Maybe I'm being insensitive (or maybe you are being ultra sensitive) but seriously people get over it. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE experiences anything and everything differently – from child birth to child rearing to adopting to school life to adult life to love life to social life to marriage, etc. – everyone has their own journey and their own experiences in life, and unfortunately some have a much tougher journey than others, but hopefully we all learn from our own journeys and from each other and take what negative thing that life gives us and turn it into something constructive and helpful AND positive for ourselves and others around us who may need it. I am sorry folks, but life is just a little too short and a little too precious for anyone to get into a serious bitch fest – that’s right, I said it! – a bitch fest over a tee-shirt (and what I mean by saying the words “bitch fest” just so everyone is clear and doesn’t misinterpret what those words mean…bitch fest is a harsh term that means to COMPLAIN). There are plenty of things out there that offend the hell out of me, but at the end of the day what I tell myself is this “is it really worth my time and effort to make someone feel bad about what they are doing? Is that the kind of person I really am to even do such a thing? What if the shoe were really on the other foot, would I appreciate these kind of remarks or criticism. And lastly, if this is worth saying something about is there a more tactful and respectful way to convey my feelings and opinions and also take into serious consideration what someone else’s feelings/view points and situation.” And what happened to these golden rules… make love not war, love thy neighbor, do unto others as they do unto you… where are those values in all your criticism and derogatory remarks.
I’m sorry if I sound crass and harsh, but this is really ridiculous. If you have different view points or want to share your own story with us, well by all means please do so, but if you have nothing supportive, constructive or helpful to say just don’t say it..I’m sure you learned at one point in your life that if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say it at all. Or in the Internet world…if you wouldn’t say the very same thing to the person’s face in public, than you probably shouldn’t be saying it on the Internet. Maybe you don’t give a hoot about , but at least have the common courtesy to respect someone else’s story and their journey. And frankly, if you don’t like what you see than don’t follow along and read it.
As Kristy said above, some people are just bitter in this world. Don’t let that effect you. You two are truly amazing people and to open your home and hearts to someone who needs it is such an amazing thing. And what’s more amazing is that you’ve put yourself out there and created a blog so that you can share this incredible journey with your friends and family..and anyone else who wants to listen. I’ve said this before and it still remains true, you and D have gone way above and beyond what is needed or required of any soon-to-be adoptive parent. You’ve done your research, you’ve gone through classes, you’ve networked through various support groups, you’ve talked to so many people who have been on both sides of the fence and have thoroughly prepared yourselves for this life-changing commitment. Through the good, the bad and the ugly, you have remained unwavered in your choice – in fact it I think it has made you more determined and a stronger person.
You guys are on the right track and any foster child(ren) would be so lucky to have parents like you in their lives. You guys are truly an inspiration.
HALLELUJAH!!! Thanks, Crystal, Barry & Sophia. I couldn't have said it better.
Good grief! I cannot believe how many people are ASSuming that you are adopting because you are infertile!
I have one biological child and have recently adopted a child through foster care. ANYONE who has been through the adoption process -- especially adopting through Social Services -- KNOWS that -- yes, indeed! -- it IS a "paper pregnancy". The months of waiting for that child to be your own coupled with the AMOUNT of paperwork that you have to deal with and WAIT for?!! There is no better way to describe being in that position.
Furthermore, these folks OBVIOUSLY have NO experience of what is involved in adopting through DSS! We're not a bunch of rich, grasping baby-grabbers! These are children who -- for whatever reason! -- have parents who will NOT do the work to get them back! And that's despite our (foster parents) best efforts to HELP them reunite with their children.
Talk about judgmental! GET OVER YOURSELVES!
I am disgusted and shocked at these negative comments!!!!!!!COMPLETELY! HOW DARE YOU PEOPLE!?!
I'm sorry "Jane" is it? The one who speaks with "Authority" (PLEASE!)if you are SO incredibly bothered by this journey, then why is it you take such great amount of time (out of your life, as a mother of two) to read blog after bog after blog!? I mean really. You must have a whole lot of time on your hands. I'm more than sure that if this was a close family member of yours you would not be behaving in such a way, or leaving such cruel and rude comments. then again I don’t know.. Maybe you would. If you are so "educated" on adoptions being an adoptee yourself, it’s truly SAD and EMBARRASSING how you represent adoptees. A mother of two as well... well, if these are your beliefs then keep them as YOUR beliefs! About the 25 year old girl who died from Leukemia (an adoptee) since you seem to do such great amount of research on things, research THIS, even your own blood family many of times are NOT a good match for bone marrow, sometimes a complete stranger can be. SO that was a REDICULOUS example (story) you through out there. Come on. There is no guarantee with such a disease.
There are many positives and negatives in EVERYTHING in life...realize that, because obviously that’s a little something you were not shown.
She can "waltz around" all she wants with the AWESOME SHIRT! And next time I will order her a bright neon yellow one, to show it off even more! I would like to know "Jane" if you would have the nerve to walk up to someone AND SAY SOME OF YOUR "OPINIONS" who is proud to be Mexican, black or whatever have you and expressing THAT on their shirt (which I’m sure you've seen in public before) BUT I have a feeling you wouldn't do that. Funny isn't it?
As far as this particular disrespectful comment of yours (amongst the many), you know the one that says : “And whilst I am sorry for you that you can not enjoy the natural process of being pregnant and giving birth PLEASE do NOT Insult Adoptees and Mothers with this shit - HOW DO YOU KNOW IF SHE CAN OR CAN NOT ENJOY THE PROCESS OF BEING PREGNANT AND GIVING BIRTH!?? How is she insulting you JANE!?!? This is HER AND HER HUSBANDS CHOICE, they have made together. Their life, Their choice… whatever their reason is behind it, ITS THEIR REASON, AND A PERSONAL ONE… what do you know if she can conceive or not. That’s a bit TOO personal lady, and I were you, I would rethink my words on such a delicate subject before EVEN CONSIDERATING ON VOICING AN IGNORANT OPINION ON SOMETHING LIKE THIS. Take it how you want, and I REALLY do hope you read this and all the comments back to you, because its people like you who should have no business on such a wonderful time in a couples life.
Word of advice lady; since you LOVE giving advice... get to know someone, get to know them real well before you even THINK you have the right to give your negative opinions on them or their lives.
These two beautiful and amazing people are opening the doors of their home to a child or children FOREVER who need love and care of a true family! Like they did once for you I'm sure. They have gone above and beyond what has been asked of them...and they deserve the world for that! WE ARE SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS, AND ARE GREAT AND IMPORTANT EXAMPLES (Especially to negative people like those)
CAN'T WAIT TO HERE ABOUT THE NEXT UPDATE YOU HAVE FOR US!
Your child (ren) will have the best parents they could ever have asked for...
Btw...feel free to drop me a line sometime, "If you want to be enlightened that is"
Much love!
Post a Comment