PRIDE - Session 4 (03/25/08)

Session Four: Meeting Developmental Needs: Loss - The session covers the types of losses children have before they enter foster care and explores how placement can deepen the child’s sense of loss. Loss is presented as something everyone must face, and participants have a chance to consider their own responses to losses in life.

Tonight was a good night. We felt that we learned a lot more valuable information. These poor children will experience so many losses through their short lives, before they come to live with us, while they are living with us and even during the actual adoption process. We learned different ways to handle the situation and how to help the children grieve and "get through" the losses that they are experiencing. (ie: losing their biological parents, losing the only home that they have ever known, losing the only friends they have, etc...) We learned that even a toddler will go through the grieving stages and feel loss, not only older children.

We didn't get to turn in the application this Tuesday as we had planned. We have a few more things we need to prepare to complete the packet, before we can turn it in... But it will be ready and turned in For Sure on Tuesday, next week.... 5 Classes to go!

Casino Night

Thank you to every one who came and supported us! We had a great turn out and had a fantastic time celebrating with those who have supported our decision to adopt from the beginning! We really enjoyed everyone being there and we really had a fun time! Thank you again! It was a great success!

PRIDE - Session 3 (03/18/08)

Session Three: Meeting Developmental Needs: Attachment- This session reviews the basics of a child’s growth and development, exploring how abuse, neglect, and trauma impact a child’s attachment, development, and behavior.

Tonight we discussed things that can cause attachment disorders and how to deal with it. Unfortunately, I didn't learn much of anything. I was really hoping to get more out of these classes but I think we just got unlucky with our Social Worker that is teaching the classes. I honestly think there is a lot of potential with these classes. Well, we will just keep going and get as much info as we can out of them, since they are required.

On a positive note, we only have 6 classes left!
We will be turning in our Application next week, so we can hopefully get assigned a social worker and get started on our homestudy. Fingers Crossed that is all goes quickly and smoothly.

A summary of our Journey...

October 2006
We were told we could not conceive naturally. We discussed our options and decided to try Invetro Fertilization.

January 2007
We started the testing and preparation for Invetro Fertilization.

March 2007
We decided to hold off on the Invetro Process. We just didn’t feel like it was the right time, the right path for us… and would start again after our vacation in May. After our vacation in may, we decided Invetro just wasn’t for us.

September 2007
We discussed the option of Adoption. It was very important to Kristi to adopt at some point in her life, and that was discussed prior to marriage. At this time, it became obvious that, this was the path that was set for them!
The intense research began! The Internet became our new best friend!

October 2007
International Adoption was chosen. After a lot of research we felt this was the road we wanted to travel.
We didn’t do enough research, we soon found out that although all the information we read, led us to believe this was the easier way to adopt, it turns out that so many laws and procedures have changed as well as a lot of hidden costs. This process was expected to cost approximately $50,000.


January 2008
After more research, we decided to switch our plan to Open Adoption in the US. This means we would create a profile and “advertise” ourselves to different pregnant women that were putting their baby up for adoption. If we were chosen, we would be responsible for her medical costs, her living expenses and all the agency and legal fees. This process would cost between $20,000 - $40,000.

February 2008
We thought about it a lot. We felt that we didn’t want to “sell” ourselves to a birth mom or agency. We didn’t like the idea of, what we felt was like buying a baby. We looked more in the foster to adopt program here in Orange County. We learned that, although there are great risks of losing the child back to the birth family before an adoption is finalized, this was a risk we were willing to take. We have decided that having an infant was not as important to us as just being parents. We like the idea of giving a child a home that is in desperate need. We want to open our hearts, our home and our family to a loving child that has nothing.
Then we had to decide what we are open to as far as the type of child. We decided that a sibling set (of two) under the age of five, will make our family complete.
This process has very little cost. All the money that has been fundraised will definitely cover it! We are responsible for certain classes and records that have to be provided and the cost of making sure our home meets county guidelines.

March 2008
We are now currently taking the 9 week PRIDE classes that are required.
PRIDE = Parenting Recourse for Information, Development, and Education
Once we finish our PRIDE classes we will be assigned a Social Worker who will conduct our Home Study. Which is an inspection of our home, our background checks, financial evaluations, and personal interviews. Once that is complete (which can take up to 6 months, we will then be approved and wait for our placement. (which would be our child(ren)) They will be foster child(ren) with us until the parental rights have been officially terminated, and we will at that time be able to start the adoption finalization.

Adoption Application Workshop 3/12/08

So, we attended the Adoption Application Workshop last night. I am very satisfied with the results of that. We definitely learned the steps of the adoption process and what to expect from each step. They went over the Very Detailed application that we have to complete and turn in. Once the application is turned in (recommended to turn in around the 4th-5th PRIDE session) then a Social Worker is assigned to us, and will contact us to start the Homestudy... the Homestudy can take up to six months (lets pray it doesn't). Once the Homestudy is complete, and approved (and it will be!) then we wait for placement. We were told the average wait for placement is 1 year.... however it all depends on how "open" you are. Meaning what type of child(ren) you are willing to accept into your home. We are pretty open. With the exception of certain medical problems, we are open to a sibling set, which is in our favor, we are open to race, which is also in our favor, and behavioral problems (we feel the children just need guidance). I have heard of people getting a call the day after they receive their license (approval) and some wait a long time.. so I guess we will just have to wait and see, who is out there waiting for our family and how quickly they come to us!

PRIDE - Session 2 (03/11/08)

Session Two: Teamwork Toward Permanence. This session lays the foundation for understanding birth-family issues and being able to support family relationships.

Well I have to admit, am a little disappointed in the classes so far. I was really hoping to get more out of them. I was hoping to learn more about what each session is supposed to be discussing. Our instructor is from Equador, and is a bit hard to understand. She sort of wonders off on her opinions and experiences rather than discussing the topic at hand. I am hoping that we learn more and more as the classes continue, but we will see. The positive side is that we have only 7 classes left, which means we are that much closer to becoming parents!

For those of you who do not know yet... we have taken a whole new direction. We have decided to give a child or children a loving home that has been neglected, abused or abandoned. We are adopting (asking for/open to) a sibling set of two (or a single child) under the age of 5 years old. We are looking forward to jumping right in and becoming parents and having a "family".

Tomorrow, we have our Adoption Application Workshop. We will learn exactly what is needed and how to complete our application, as well as when the proper time is to start our Home Study! I will keep you posted!

Thanks for following our journey!

PRIDE - Session 1 (03/04/08)

Our first class was interesting.. kinda boring I will admit. That is only because the first day was sort of an overview of what all we will be going over throughout the 9 weeks in class. It looks like the information will be very interesting and definitely informative and we are both looking forward to absorbing as much as we can. I will share with you our experience, as we go.

Pride stands for Parent Resources for Information, Development, and Education. PRIDE is Orange County’s standardized curriculum of training for adoptive parents and the new model of practice.

The PRIDE curriculum was developed by the Child Welfare League of America. The model is designed to strengthen the quality of family adoption. It provides a standardized, consistent, structured framework for the competency-based development and support for adoptive families. Prior to becoming an adoptive parent, applicants will participate in a pre-service training by a team of co-facilitators that includes experienced foster parents, and Social Workers. Prospective adoptive parents will be required to attend 27 hours of pre-service training.

The training includes nine sessions
Session One: Connecting with PRIDE. This session helps participants learn about the world of adoption through the stories of children receiving child welfare services. Participants can see adoptive families work as part of the team that provides for the challenging needs of children in their care.